i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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