Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
