Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
