Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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