dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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