lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
