if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize