hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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