the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
