sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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