I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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