I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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