You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
