piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
50% drunk capacity currently
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
