Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
