The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
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