so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize