have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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