Having a random hookup so left but love u
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
