I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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