ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
