I didn't shave. On purpose
I can text with my tongue
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
