went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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