i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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