It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
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I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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