What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
