Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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