Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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