can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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