I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
two words...techno handjob
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
