And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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