I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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