I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
