He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
