If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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