She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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