I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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