So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
