You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
