Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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