I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
