The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
