In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
