Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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