How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
