Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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