we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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