they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
