just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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