Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
