drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize