Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
