there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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