The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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