I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
